Manusia Pendosa

Kemarin tanggal 17 Ogos merupakan hari lahir ibu aku...malam tadi aku berkesempatan menelefon ibu aku tuk mengucapkan slamat ari lahir kepadanya. Slalunya kalo aku ada kat umah, aku dan adik aku akan memasak tuk ibu bagi meraikannya. Kalo kami malas sangat nak masak, kami akan kongsi duit tuk bawak ibu makan kat luar. Tapi tu dulu punya crita la, sejak aku dapat masuk UiTM masa 2007 dulu ni...aku dah tak dapat nak buat suma ni. Skunk ni aku just dapat wish dan bagi hadiah ja kat ibu aku...tu pun slalunya hadiah tu aku lambat bagi. Hehe...


Hadiah tuk hari lahir ibu aku pada tahun ni sangat membebankan perasaan aku tuk berikan kepadanya kerna ianya agak teruk...bukan agak teruk sebenarnya tetapi sememangnya teruk. Sebagai seorang anak aku tak sepatut memberikannya hadiah ni dan sebagai seorang ibu dia tak berhak tuk menerimanya. Aku telah memberitahunya yang aku nak brenti blaja, itulah hadiahnya...ibuku sangat terkejut, tetapi dalam masa yang sama aku tahu yang dia sangat kecewa dengan aku. Bukan niat aku tuk melukakan hatinya tetapi aku melakukannya semata-mata aku dah tak sanggup melihat dia menanggung diri aku tuk blaja.


Aku dah tak sanggup melihat seorang wanita  yang berusia 55 tahun menanggung diri aku yang berusia 23 tahun yang masih muda dan kuat ni...aku rasa cam tak berguna sangat. Sepatutnya aku yang menanggung ibu aku...ni terbalik plak. Huhu...mesti ramai yang akan kata,"Kenapa tak apply ja PTPTN?". Maaf, aku punya prinsip aku sindri...sesuatu benda yang aku rasa tak puas hati, cuba mengambil kesempatan atau menindas, aku akan menghindari atau menentangnya. Salah satu daripadanya adalah PTPTN...mungkin aku bodoh, rebel tak bertempat!!! Tapi inilah hakikat sebenarnya diri aku...memang sukar tuk di ubah lagi. Walau
apapun alasannya aku tetap seorang anak yang berdosa. Maafkan aku ibu...sesungguhnya aku tak berniat tuk melukakanmu.

33 comments:

Soldadu merah said...

kalau ko rasa itu jalan terbaik...maju terus jangan berundur..jangan pernah sekali menyesal...

azmiramin said...

aku dah tekad...ni jln yg aku pilih.skunk ni pn aku dah start usya keja...

Selipar Putus said...

epy belated bufday tO ur mOm.. may Allah bless her..

azmiramin said...

Amin...

En. Reen said...

Ko dah benti belajar??
aku hanya mampu menggeleng kepala je mir..
hmmmmm~

azmiramin said...

ni jln yg aku pilih...jgn di tanyakan kenapa.kerna kau takkan bisa paham...

En. Reen said...

Aku takkan tanya kenapa sebab aku taw ko ade alasan sendiri. Tapi mungkin suatu hari nnti kite akan phm baik dan buruk segala keputusan yg kite buat dlm hidup kite ni.
Satu je aku nk gtaw, jgn sia-sia kan pengorbanan dan penat lelah insan yg bergelar ibu.
Aku mungkin tak phm, tp aku cume mampu berfikir.

azmiramin said...

yup!!!ini jalan yg aku pilih...so maknanya aku dah sedia tuk hadapi sebarang kemungkinan.aku dah sedia tuk menghadapinya...ibu aku akhirnya memahami situasi aku.syukur...kiranya dia merestui jln yg aku pilih.

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